“In the farming community, the ‘tough it out’ culture often prevents people from seeking support with their health and wellbeing. Yet my husband has been open about his experience of farming with a chronic condition, and our local farming community have recognised what we’re facing. Being surrounded by a community that really cares, has lifted us and helped us keep moving forward.“
Yvette from Cumbria supports her husband, Andrew, a fourth-generation farmer, who has ME/CFS. Diagnosed 13 years ago, the couple have had to navigate a life very different to the one they once imagined. In an industry where people are known for pushing through and rarely putting their own health and wellbeing first, recent events have promoted their local farming community to be there for them – support that has meant a great deal to Yvette and Andrew.
Andrew is beef and sheep farmer, and was injured in a farming accident from which he never fully recovered. Following two years of tests, he was eventually diagnosed with ME/CFS – that was 13 years ago, and from that point, our life has become harder every year.
Farming is demanding at the best of times, but when chronic illness enters the picture, even the simplest daily tasks can feel overwhelming, stretching both physical strength and emotional resilience.
Andrew’s symptoms including chronic pain and debilitating fatigue create real challenges, making some days more challenging than others. There are tasks he can no longer manage, such as clipping sheep, because he doesn’t have the strength to handle the livestock as he once did. I work full-time, and before and after work, and at the weekends, I step in to pick up the jobs that Andrew is unable to manage.
Family pitch in so the farm runs like clockwork, and to ensure that Andrew does not overexert himself, which can cause post exertional malaise (a delayed and significant exacerbation of ME/CFS symptoms that follows physical activity and cognitive (mental) activity.
As the partner of someone living with ME/CFS, the role extends far beyond physical and emotional care. It involves sacrifices such as taking on extra responsibilities at home and in my case the farm, rearranging routines, and constantly adapting to unpredictable symptoms. There are also the emotional sacrifices such as putting your own needs on hold, letting go of plans, carrying the worry of watching someone you love struggle, and learning to find strength on days that feel particularly heavy. These aren’t sacrifices made out of obligation, but out of care and love. Although this cruel illness is robbing Andrew of his health and his life, I still wake up each day grateful for the life that we have together, and although it is hard and very challenging at times, I could not imagine life without Andrew.
With ME/CFS, what you see on the surface can be misleading. Someone might look alright, and their family might seem to be coping, but behind that, they may be struggling in ways that aren’t immediately visible. What people often don’t see are the symptoms that never go away – the constant pain, the profound fatigue, the blurry vision, the moments at the end of the day when he has to crawl up the stairs to bed due to an increase in symptoms.
What’s often overlooked is the impact this has on partners and carers too. There is no real time to switch off, and limited opportunity to socialise with friends, family, or colleagues. The weight of the condition extends wider than the person diagnosed, it affects the daily life of everyone who loves them.
Andrew recently participated in the Lives We Cannot Live photography exhibition that captured the realities of daily life for people with ME/CFS, and was hosted by The ME Association in London’s Oxo Gallery. It was this event that helped put ME/CFS on the radar of our local farming community, raising awareness and understanding of the condition.
When the local farming community learned that Andrew was featured in the exhibition, it sparked real curiosity about his story. Many farmers had never heard of ME/CFS, and they wanted to know more about it, the symptoms, the daily realities of the condition, and the ways it affects both Andrew and I.
Today, when Andrew is absent from farming auctions or events, people notice. They ask how he’s doing and genuinely want to check that he’s ok. Equally, when he is able to attend events, more people approach him and ask how he is – they really care.
This level of awareness has really touched us, and we are humbled that the local farming community cares.
Raising awareness of Andrew’s condition has also helped to break down some of the barriers that often exist in farming around health and wellbeing. By seeing Andrew speak openly about his experience, others in the community have begun to reflect on their own health, to look out for one another a little more, and to realise that they don’t always have to ‘tough it out’ alone.
Community interest has continued, and after hearing about our situation, the local veterinary practice selected The ME Association as its charity, donating money raised from a community fundraising event. Moments like this remind us that our community is coming together for us, and we feel both supported and seen. Moving forward, I believe there will be more opportunities to raise the profile of ME/CFS in the local farming community which is very encouraging.
Carers of loved ones with ME/CFS face challenges in all aspects of our lives, and for me, having the support of the local farming community, which is deeply rooted in our everyday life, is incredibly moving. There is a greater sense of connection – we have been acknowledged, valued and supported, which makes a big difference.
Yvette
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Further information
- Farming Life: Cumbrian farmer features in unique photography exhibition highlighting ME/CFS | September 25, 2025
- The ME Association: Andrew Jackson and Jeremy Jeffs interviewed about new exhibition on ITV Border News! | September 10, 2025